pity

Thanksgiving wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Mostly because we kept the time at the ILs to the minimum. We did spend a few hours there on Thursday, and as suspected, there were too many kids and a now visible pg belly. Surprisingly I was not very sad about the belly...the sadness was only when SIL began petting her belly. You know, the gentle stroke, the quick squeeze of her husband's hand, eye's meet, and then the glowing smile. UGH! I almost broke down at that point, but with a few deep breaths I was okay.

This weekend we were asked by one of DH's sisters and her husband if we would be the guardians of their daughter if, god forbid, something happens to them. We, of course, were flattered and honored that they would ask us. I just assumed there was already some sort of agreement worked between the 3 sisters...but she said that our values are the closest to theirs so they felt we were the best choice. She then asked us not to say anything to the others, as there would be hard feelings.

While I know that this decision was made by them after assessing many things, the only that keeps jumping in my head is that they are thinking 'let's give her to the childless ones!' I know that is not why, but damn, why can't I let it go? I feel as if their pity for us pushed their decision. 'how sad, they will never have kids, so, let's leave her to them' -the thought has been mocking me since they asked.