Crappy Day

It seems that some days just suck. Today is one of them. Everything I did all day long was just a reminder of what we don't have, what we may never have...happy families shopping, emailed pics of newborns, happy moms announcing their pregnancies, invitations to baby showers, pregnant bellies waddling past me, talk of giving birth, comparisons of newborns to their parents. God, the list could go on forever.

While I am finally feeling hopeful that we might be successful with an IUI in the next 6 months I've also realized that until I have a healthy baby in my arms I will not stop worrying. I said to DH today that I don't think I could handle having a baby shower. I think it is partly b/c I wouldn't want to jinx anything, and partly b/c it is too difficult for me to see the joy in such an event anymore.

But to end on a better note, while for those of you who know me IRL (in real life) know that I am not a very religious person, I heard an expression that has finally made me feel better: God only challenges the character he knows can handle it.