I am so physically and emotionally drained after this weekend. Sorry for no updates, just couldn't bring myself to do much.
Friday night was a really rough one. I pretty much contracted (like full-on labor) for over three hours. There was enough concern that the resident came to check my cervix. While I had not dilated anymore, I am now nearly 100% effaced and the boy is in the +1 position (+3 would be crowning). I have been in so much pain since then that I spend all day with the end of the bed elevated in hopes of relieving some of the pressure. Nothing helps at this point.
On Saturday we went to see my grandma. She looked so much worse than I expected. She was almost completely incoherent and only opened her eyes briefly. She is on a lot of morphine b/c of the pain from the cancer. She just seemed really doped up. There were a lot of family members there and they kept asking me how I was and wanted to have conversations about the babies but I just couldn't. It took everything in me to not sit there and sob the entire time.
The past few days have been better contraction wise, but the pain from the pressure is getting so much worse. I hate to say this....but I think I am done. I am not sure how much longer I can do this. I will do it as long as these two want to stay in, but once they decide to come I think I will be a bit relieved. I think hitting the 32 week mark and knowing that they are both right around 4 lbs makes me feel a lot less guilty about being so physically done with this.
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6 comments:
I don't know how you are doing it hun... it sounds incredibly painful and uncomfortable. My thoughts are with you! Good luck to you, Greg and the babies! Hang in there.
Ohhh hon! You have done incredibly well considering everything that has been going on. I'm glad you were able to see your grandma, even though I know it was tough. I'm sorry that this is all happening! Hang in there you are almost there!
I don't think anyone blames you for being done. You have really been through a lot.
I'm so sorry the visit with your grandmother was so difficult, but I'm sure you feel better having been able to see her.
Thinking of you.
Crossing my fingers and saying many prayers. You have done and are doing GREAT!!!
First of all, I'm so sorry about your grandmother. Keep your memories alive and remember all of the good times with her - not how she looks now. Even though she seemed out of it, I'm sure she knew you were there and that's what matters.
I have a feeling of how difficult the pregnancy is at this point - I know I was done at 32 weeks (little did I know how done I was). Just keep up your faith and think of the end result - healthy babies! You have hit an important milestone and you know the babies will be OK if something happens now. My 2 are doing great and they were 32-weekers! Stay positive, you are doing great!
I hope the last few days have helped you recover from your difficult weekend. You've done an amazing job getting to this point. Don't feel guilty at all about feeling done. Our bodies have limits and 32 weeks is a feat to be proud of, especially factoring in where you've been in the last few weeks of that. Hang in there- you are almost at the finish line!
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