Both babies!

Last night I got to hold both babies, at the same time! It was such a wonderful feeling, one of the best days of my life. Of course I started crying immediately. I can't believe both of these little ones were inside me and now here they are in my arms.

Eli had a few bad spit-ups and residuals again yesterday on breastmilk, so today they tried soy. We are waiting to hear how that went. Poor boy:( Hazel is still doing really well and had the grossest poop ready for me when I arrived. Now that she is off the IV and oxygen I was allowed to take her in and out of her isolette without a nurse. Attempt #1 was a FAIL! I hit her poor little nose on the thing while trying to get her back in:( I also failed by hitting her in the head with the book I was trying to read to her as I turned the pages. Stupid hard baby books. She did like the book, it was baby animals with textures for each animal. She liked the furry monkey:)


My NICU return was short lived. Today one of the nurses, who I don't really like to begin with (meannurse as we have been calling her), called to tell me I was not welcome at the NICU b/c of my cold. She talked down to me and pretty much implied that I was being selfish by coming in and that I was putting the babies in harm's way. First off, I have the sniffles. I called the neo and asked if I could come back, he gave me the go ahead. When I thought I was a risk to them, I stayed home or wore a mask. Secondly, if I didn't have their best interest in mind I would not have gone through the pregnancy from hell that just won't end so that they could be here as healthy as I could possibly make them. Thirdly, who the f*ck does she think she is telling me I can't see my own children. They do not belong to her, they are mine. I am so sick of the nurses making me feel like my babies do not belong to me. That I am just the visitor and they need to tell me how to do everything. Can you tell I am highly irritated by all this?

There are a few nurses I really like, and just one or two who I don't get a good vibe from. Too bad those are the ones caring for Elijah and Hazel most of the time. After I talked to meannurse I had to call my mom, who was on her way to pick me up to take me to the NICU, to tell her that I couldn't go. Of course I was sobbing. I told her what happened and when she went to see the babies she mentioned to one of the really nice nurses what meannurse said and that I was sobbing about it. Nice nurse said she would mention it to the nurse on the next shift. Apparently it got back to meannurse who called and talked to Greg and pretty much apologized and told him that I was welcome whenever I want to come. Ass-covering bitch:(

I think I am going to request that she not care for our little ones anymore. She is really spacey and just rubs me the wrong way. This is not the first thing she has done to upset me. She always talks down to me like I don't know any medical terms and then gives the most insincere encouragement. I've had enough of it.

I am going to try and go tomorrow, she better not say anything to me or I might just yell at her. Wish me luck.