Yesterday one of my colleagues was talking really loudly on her phone (she is two offices down) and the conversation seemed to be about 'test-tube babies.'
I couldn't hear all of it, but I did hear 'Those kids have to have parents, it's not like they are test-tube babies!' (laugh, giggle, ha ha-loud). WTF is that supposed to mean? The ignorance of people when it comes to IVF just freaking astonishes me. I haven't come out at work yet, and I am sure when I do there will be questions about how I conceived, and while I don't want to have such stupid conversations, I am pretty sure I will be honest about it. Just to educate people. I am sick of hearing shit like that.
I am happy to answer questions, but hate the gossip. I also hate everyone knowing my personal life, but I figure if everyone thought that way the general public will contiune to be just as ignorant.
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12 comments:
wonder what the heck that is supposed to mean? like "test tube babies" don't have parents? if someone's going to pay that much to get those babies in the first place, i'll bet they have parents!
i hear you about not wanting to share all of my business, but sometimes the ignorance is killer!!
i still remember my parents trying to convince me that they could speak intelligently about IVF b/c they "watch a lot of vet shows"....whatever the hell *that* is supposed to mean!
oh god. i know if i ever get pg again i'm wondering how open i will be. especially with ignorant & opinionated people...sometimes i don't think it's worth the hassle and then other days i just want to scream how things ACTUALLY work.
((HUGS))
Good lord people are ignorant. I'm sorry you (and your entire office) had to endure that ridiculous conversation.
One of my books covers the the topic of how to answer people about how you finally conceived, when you aren't ready to give full disclosure. The best asnwer I saw: "Persistence", and leave it at that. When you give a short and ambiguous answer, it will make them realize they are being nosey and tactless. Hopefully.
Good luck.
People are so stupid.
When people at work realized I'm pregnant, I got the "Do twins run in your family"? question constantly. I even had one person ask if it was twins because of my age. Nice! I knew that I wanted to be upfront with how we conceived and I wasn't bashful about saying it. If people are going to ask stupid questions, I'm going to make them feel stupid for asking it. I used to think to myself, "C'mon.. ask it, ask it. I dare you"! :)
I feel the same way. It almost feels sometimes that we have a duty to stop the stupidity about IVF (and IF) sometimes. Monday (after sharing our IVF news with a co-worker), my co-worker told me she knows a kid who was created through IVF. She said that he was a "big boy" and thinks they left him in the petri dish too long. Either that, or (because it was a FET) they should have "defrosted" him sooner, since he was frozen for 4 years. Talk about ignorant!
I hate people and their infertility ignorance. I was at Arby's the other day and overheard a man telling his entire table (very loudly) that IVF couples can just pick the babies' eye color, sex, hair color, etc. I was so pissed I almost walked over there and said something, but I figured they'd just assume I was crazy. So annoying!
Ummm...sounds like you have a REALLY stupid co-worker. She could definitely use some education.
This is the week of freaky comments from friends, acquaintances and commenters on blogs. Must be something in the air. :P
Hope that nausea lets up soon! Your DH is a trooper, hosing down the driveway first thing in the moment!
Lanie sends big *virtual slap* to your coworker!!!
WTF!!! Sorry I haven't heard that statement since like grade 8!!! How mature!
There are so many times I've had to bite my tongue...It seems like the more years I deal with IF, the better I am at walking away. But every now and then I do feel the need to educate someone and show them how rude they are... And I won't lie when I make them feel like an ass I feel a little better! LOL!
I agree, WTF? People who can conceive easily can be desensitized to anyone who can't. And, it's not just strangers or acquaintances who make stupid remarks - good friends can to. I just wish some of them filtered their constant kid talk when I was around. It makes me feel left out when the only things I can talk about are my niece and nephew.
I would have been pissed and when you do come out I would come out loud and proud! B/C you guys worked very hard to have these babies and will cherish them so much more.
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