Sorry for the hiatus. I've needed a bit of a break from the interwebs and from my own ponderings:)
Pregnancy wise-everything is looking good. The twins look good, we saw the heartbeats and go in again next week for another ultrasound before we get released to an OB.
I have to admit that one of the reasons I haven't been posting is that I have been so extremely sick and didn't want to 'complain' to any of you about it. After dealing with IF for so many years and getting so annoyed when I heard pg women complain, I have been feeling like quite the hypocrite. I've broken down in tears a few times at how overwhelming it is to feel sick every waking minute of the day (morning sickness my ass). Nothing seems to help and I've already lost about 15 lbs (not like I couldn't use it!). My RE thinks its okay for now, and hopefully it subsides soon enough.
Sometimes I feel like IF gave me rose-colored glasses when thinking about anything pg related. And OMG is it kicking my ass now. Not only do I feel guilty for not being totally in awe of being pg, but I feel sometimes like a complete failure b/c I have no clue how I will be able to do this for 7 more months.
Oh, and to add to it, DH lost his job, it's a long story, but he won't get unemployment benefits. We have been scrambling to get our house on the market b/c we know we only have about 2 months before paying our mortgage becomes impossible. Fuck is the only word to describe it at this point.
Wow, what a Debbie Downer do I sound like. Sorry for the depressing post:(
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Our journey through infertility, to pregnancy, with a few bumps along the way.
About Me
- Andrea
- Milwaukee, Wisconsin, United States
- After years of struggling with infertility we are finally parents to twins thanks to IVF#2! Learning through the difficult time of infertility, a multiples pregnancy, hospital bedrest, and a NICU stay that life is life, there is nothing you can do to control it. All you can do is try to make the best of it:)
Our Journey
- 10/05-Got married!
- 12/06-Began TTC
- 8/07-Diagnosed with Varicocele
- 10/07-Varicocelectomy
- 7/08-First RE appointment
- 9/, 10/, 12/08-IUI #1-3=BFNs
- 1/09 -IUI#4 =BFN
- 4/09 -IVF#1=BFN w/RE #2
- 6/22/09-IVF#2 =BFP!
- 1/15/10-Hazel and Elijah were born
Blog Archive
IF Success Stories
- Busted Babymaker
- Caroline-From Infertility to Baby
- Conceive This!
- Infertility Journey to Motherhood
- IVF on the Down Low
- Little Bluebirds Fly
- Make it Grand
- My Infertile World
- No swimmers in the tubes, no bun in the oven
- Not How I Planned
- Pieces of My Life
- Someday, Someway!
- Swimming Against the Tide
- There's a baby at the end of this, right?
Multiples
Infertility Blogs
Loss
Non-IF blogs I like
Money Spent on IF
- 2008-
- 7/23/08 -$323 RE office visit
- 7/23/08 -$727 cervical cultures
- 8/11/08 -$948 day 3 bloodwork
- 8/11/08 -$536 day 3 ultrasound
- 8/20/08 -$285 for IUI #1
- 9/5/08 -$194 Semen analysis and cryopreservation
- 9/08-9/09 -$150 semen storage fee
- 9/11/08 -$194 semen analysis
- 10/6/08 -pending $3,500 for HSG
- 10/11/08 -$285 for IUI #2
- 12/1/08 -$285 for IUI #3
- 12/27/08 -$285 for IUI #4
- 2009-
- 1/24/09-$248 RE office visit
- 1/28/09 -$412 semen analysis and bloodwork
- 1/30/09 -$542 mock-ET and bloodwork
- 2/6/09 -$3,966 for IVF & ER anesthesia
- 2/10/09 -$1,819.05 for IVF Meds
- 3/25/09 -$1,290 freezing embryos
- 4/2/09 -$293 beta testing
- 6/1/09 -$3,996 for IVF #2
Acronyms
- AF = Aunt Flow (menstruation)
- Beta =Beta blood test, tests for pregnancy hormone
- BFN = Big Fat Negative (on HPT)
- BFP = Big Fat Positive (i.e. PREGNANT!)
- DH = Dear Husband. Even when he's not being particularly dear
- ER = Egg retrieval
- ET = Embryo transfer
- FET=Frozen Embryo Cycle
- HPT = Home Pregnancy Test
- ICSI = Intro Cytoplasmic Sperm Injection
- IF = Infertility
- IL = In-laws
- IUI = Intrauterine Insemination
- IVF = In Vitro Fertilization
- LO = Little Ones (babies)
- MFI = Male Factor Infertility
- MoM = Mother of Multiples
- O = Ovulate
- OPK = Ovulation Predictor Kit (tells when you O)
- Pg = pregnant, pregnancy
- PIO = Progesterone in Oil shots
- POAS = Pee on a Stick (take HPT)
- RE = Reproductive Endocrinologist
- SA = Semen Analysis
- SIL = Sister-in-Law
- Stims = Stimulation hormone shots
- TI = Timed Intercourse
- TTC = Trying to Conceive
- TTTC = Trouble Trying to Conceive
- WTF=What the fuck? -why didn't this work
23 comments:
Glad you checked in :)
I totally get what you're saying. It sucks the way all us IFers somehow make up this thought that everything must be peaches and cream during pregnancy (or else we're ungrateful, of course!) - when, in fact, sometimes pregnancy is just hard and it sucks!
I'm so sorry to hear about the job situation. Fingers crossed things go smoothly with the house and etc.
I'm so glad to hear that things are going well with the twins! Being sick comes with pregnancy, and having to deal with infertility doesn't make you immune! So complain away! It helps us know that things are going good on the inside!
Sorry to hear about DH losing his job, that bites! Good luck with all of that stuff.
BTW- I'm a twin and I'm so excited that you are having twins!! :)
Thanks for the update! I've been hoping things were okay! Hang in there with the morning sickness. Have you tried unisom? It was the only thing that did the trick for me. I took it until about week 14/15 before I could survive without it. Don't feel bad about feeling bad -- I totally agree that it sucks and sometimes crying is the best way to cope.
I hope your hubby find a new job and/or your house sells quickly! Thoughts and prayers your way.
I've been constantly looking for updates, thanks for posting. I'm sorry about the awful m/s and dh losing his job - you've got a lot on your plate.
I hope everything goes smoothly with selling your house and you start to feel better.
Yay for twins :)
Thanks for the update - sorry you guys are having a rough time with jobs and your morning sickness. It's OK to acknowledge you feel like crap! Hang in there.
:( Im sorry things have been so tough lately. Im glad you were able to check in and give us an update- I was wondering where you were and whether everything was okay. Please dont feel like a hypocrite for complaining. Ive never been pregnant but I HATE HATE HATE being sick and I cant imagine how exhuasting and awful it would be to have tht feeling all day everyday. You are welcome to email me anytime and complain all you want if you dont want to do it on here :) Also, Im sorry about hubbys job :( Ill be praying that things turn around soon and he finds a job. Glad ur back!
You have every right to complain about the sickness. It blows (chunks!) and acknowledging that doesn't take away from the fact that you wanted your little ones so badly. I know some women are sick the whole pregnancy, but that is rare...if you're like most you should start to feel better soon. By the 2nd trimester you'll feel pretty dang good!
OMG, I am SOOOO sorry about DH's job. I can't imagine how stressful that would be. I'm so sorry that you have to sell your house. I hope that you have a quick turnaround and find something even better very soon!
xoxo
Oh...and sorry if I told you this before, but my 'morning' sickness home remedies were:
-Ginger Ale (make sure it has real ginger--like Trader Joes)
-Sea Bands (little bracelet thingies that trigger a pressure point, you can get them at CVS/Walgreens)
-Saltines (cliche, I know...but they worked!)
-Also make sure to eat, even when you don't feel like it. It really, REALLY helps!
Don't feel bad about complaining about m/s sorry all day sickness! It will get better...if it doesn't please ask your OB for some help!
So sorry to hear about DH's job loss! That sucks! I hope things turn around quickley for you, and maybe you won't have to sell! Keep your chin up and food down!
LOL!
I am so sorry you are having a rough time. I hope the morning (all day!) sickness goes soon.
Take care x
Sorry about the sickness, just because you've wanted to be pregnant for so long doesn't mean unfortunately that the sickness will be any easier to bare (if only eh!).
Glad to hear that the twins are coming along well.
Sorry to hear about the job thing, as much as we hate them at times, they do come in handy, hope he finds another sooner rather than later.
xxx
I'm so sorry for your husband's job loss. I hope everything works out and gives you less to worry about.
Oh my goodness! I'm glad to hear the twins are still well but sorry for you. Hang in there - hopefully the sickness is just temporary and will be over soon.
Also, sorry to hear about DH's job. My DH also found out he's being laid off effective 9/30. Couldn't be worse timing. Just have faith that things will work out.
Glad you posted, we've been worried about you over here in Detroit! How many weeks now?
take care of yourself, sorry about DH.
Sorry to hear DH lost his job. Everything will work out.
Don't feel guilty at all for complaining about m/s, for all the crap you've been through you can complain all you want:)
Hang in there!!
((HUGS))
Fuuuuuck. Seriously, fuck. Sorry about your husband, and sorry you aren't feeling good.
No, I cannot relate to difficult pregnancy symptoms, but I know it never feels GOOD to not feel good.
I hope you feel better soon.
I'm glad to hear that the twins are doing well!! I'm sorry about your DH. I know Mil.waukee/SE WI sucks right now as far as jobs go (both my parents lost their jobs a few years ago and had to start over, and now family members are being laid off or having reduced salaries by about 40%) I will keep you in my prayers, I hope your dh can find something that he really loves.
Glad to hear from you!!
oh girl. this sucks. as someone who was puking many times a day, i totally get it. i felt the same way. it does get better, i promise!! ask for zofran...it really helps!
sorry about dh. i really hope things work out!
OMG Andrea....
I am sorry you are feeling so sick..you can complain all you want to me. Even though you waited fort his for so long and got annoyed when pregnant ppl talked about it its still not easy to go through...I had the nausea but that was all and that was bad enough so I am totally feeling for you!
ALso, I cant believe your busband lost his job - Im soo sorry - I know the economy sucks but I hope he does something that he can find a job in fast!
Best of luck and thinking of you 4!
omg, you have so much on your plate! I'm so sorry about the morning sickeness and your DH's job and having to sell your house! It's wonderful the babies are doing so great, I wish you could enjoy it more! Hopefully after the next month the symptoms will subside.
Thanks for the update :) I'm glad everything is going well with the twins (despite being sick, that sucks no matter who you are and you have every right to feel crappy and don't need to feel bad for that!!!)
Ugh, I'm so sorry about the job situation and all of that. You guys need to catch a break! :(
I am so sorry to hear about your dh's job. This market is terrible.
I know what you mean - I expected to be completely blissed out - now I am just scared every minute of every day that something is going to go wrong and I am not enjoying this pregnancy as much as I would like to enjoy it.
It is tough - be easy on yourself
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