I think I've jumped a hurdle over the past week. I can actually see myself being pregnant. I'm not quite to the point of imagining that we will have a real live baby, or that is biologically both of ours, but those are separate hurdles.
I am not sure where it came from, but it is there, in my head, I can see it. Maybe its the hope that this year might be it. Or knowing that before the year is over we will definitely have moved on from our current protocol, though we are still not sure what the next one will be.
I think I have finally found a bit of hope, and its hope that can't really crush me every month! Its not hope that THIS cycle worked, but hope that we will not be here at this time next year. We might not be parents yet, but things will be different.
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Our journey through infertility, to pregnancy, with a few bumps along the way.
About Me
- Andrea
- Milwaukee, Wisconsin, United States
- After years of struggling with infertility we are finally parents to twins thanks to IVF#2! Learning through the difficult time of infertility, a multiples pregnancy, hospital bedrest, and a NICU stay that life is life, there is nothing you can do to control it. All you can do is try to make the best of it:)
Our Journey
- 10/05-Got married!
- 12/06-Began TTC
- 8/07-Diagnosed with Varicocele
- 10/07-Varicocelectomy
- 7/08-First RE appointment
- 9/, 10/, 12/08-IUI #1-3=BFNs
- 1/09 -IUI#4 =BFN
- 4/09 -IVF#1=BFN w/RE #2
- 6/22/09-IVF#2 =BFP!
- 1/15/10-Hazel and Elijah were born
Blog Archive
IF Success Stories
- Busted Babymaker
- Caroline-From Infertility to Baby
- Conceive This!
- Infertility Journey to Motherhood
- IVF on the Down Low
- Little Bluebirds Fly
- Make it Grand
- My Infertile World
- No swimmers in the tubes, no bun in the oven
- Not How I Planned
- Pieces of My Life
- Someday, Someway!
- Swimming Against the Tide
- There's a baby at the end of this, right?
Multiples
Infertility Blogs
Loss
Non-IF blogs I like
Money Spent on IF
- 2008-
- 7/23/08 -$323 RE office visit
- 7/23/08 -$727 cervical cultures
- 8/11/08 -$948 day 3 bloodwork
- 8/11/08 -$536 day 3 ultrasound
- 8/20/08 -$285 for IUI #1
- 9/5/08 -$194 Semen analysis and cryopreservation
- 9/08-9/09 -$150 semen storage fee
- 9/11/08 -$194 semen analysis
- 10/6/08 -pending $3,500 for HSG
- 10/11/08 -$285 for IUI #2
- 12/1/08 -$285 for IUI #3
- 12/27/08 -$285 for IUI #4
- 2009-
- 1/24/09-$248 RE office visit
- 1/28/09 -$412 semen analysis and bloodwork
- 1/30/09 -$542 mock-ET and bloodwork
- 2/6/09 -$3,966 for IVF & ER anesthesia
- 2/10/09 -$1,819.05 for IVF Meds
- 3/25/09 -$1,290 freezing embryos
- 4/2/09 -$293 beta testing
- 6/1/09 -$3,996 for IVF #2
Acronyms
- AF = Aunt Flow (menstruation)
- Beta =Beta blood test, tests for pregnancy hormone
- BFN = Big Fat Negative (on HPT)
- BFP = Big Fat Positive (i.e. PREGNANT!)
- DH = Dear Husband. Even when he's not being particularly dear
- ER = Egg retrieval
- ET = Embryo transfer
- FET=Frozen Embryo Cycle
- HPT = Home Pregnancy Test
- ICSI = Intro Cytoplasmic Sperm Injection
- IF = Infertility
- IL = In-laws
- IUI = Intrauterine Insemination
- IVF = In Vitro Fertilization
- LO = Little Ones (babies)
- MFI = Male Factor Infertility
- MoM = Mother of Multiples
- O = Ovulate
- OPK = Ovulation Predictor Kit (tells when you O)
- Pg = pregnant, pregnancy
- PIO = Progesterone in Oil shots
- POAS = Pee on a Stick (take HPT)
- RE = Reproductive Endocrinologist
- SA = Semen Analysis
- SIL = Sister-in-Law
- Stims = Stimulation hormone shots
- TI = Timed Intercourse
- TTC = Trying to Conceive
- TTTC = Trouble Trying to Conceive
- WTF=What the fuck? -why didn't this work
10 comments:
im glad you found some hope!! its hard to do in the siuation we are in.
i hope 2009 provides you will wonderful surprises!
I wish my head would get to that point - and I'm thrilled yours has. Our hope wavers on the day but I can't imagine actually getting pregnant and bringing home a little one. *hug* Hopefully we'll both be blessed that way one day soon.
I am glad that your spirits are higher - I hope this one is it for you.
I am glad that your spirits are higher - I hope this one is it for you.
Yes, I'm with you, things WILL be different next year at this time. That's awesome you are feeling positive & can let yourself hope! 2009 is our year! :)
I am praying for you! Hoping 2009 will be your year sooner ratehr then later!
BTW i am pregannt and I am still in denial that I am pregnant
Seeing that hope shine through is a very tough thing. It is an amazing thing too. Hoping that 2009 will be a MUCH different year for you.
That's the way I feel right now too! I want to hold on to the feeling because it is a much better place to be than the dark one I left....
Yay for a new year! And a new positive outlook!
2009 will be the yea of the baby I hope! Positive thinking is the way forward! Good luck
Hope is a beautiful thing. And a new year brings a lot of that. So... here's to 2009 and the new journeys that it will bring.
I was just catching up on your blog from 2wks ago and I was surprised that your RE did not want to change the protocol to even a medicated IUI after all that you have been through. That must be so tough. I hope that this cycle is it and that you won't have to go there.
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