Getting off my ass

I am been moping on the couch since Thursday evening. I have gotten off a few times, actually gotten out of the house for an hour at a time, but for about 22 hrs of each day I have been sitting here, depressed.

I have so much I could be getting done but I can't do it. I feel so emotionally paralyzed every time I think about actually doing anything. What the hell is wrong with me! I need to get over this. And I really need to stop feeling bad about feeling bad. It's not like this was our first failed IUI, or that we are not used to the BFNs, but the past few weeks have been really difficult.

So, in an effort to feel better I went to Home Depot today and bought chocolate brown paint. I am finally doing it. I am getting rid of the yellow walls in the empty-baby-room. I just cannot look at it anymore. I keep the door closed in that room all the time. It sucks because it is at the front of our house and gets the best light. I posted a few weeks ago that I wanted to make it a craft room, but didn't do it. The yellow made me too depressed and I didn't want to be in that room. Hopefully the new color will help.

I'll post some pics when I get it done. Since both DH and I are state employees we have the day off tomorrow. I plan to finish the room. We thought about going to the museum here, or out to a movie, but I am not sure if the potential babies and bellies will be too much for me. We saw a belly at Costco today, I actually turned to DH and said "people in that state should not be allowed in public". I think I am at an all new low:) -and my apologies to those of you who are pg, I don't actually believe it and I am sure you are very cute.