It always so much worse on the weekends. It's the extra time to think, the errands at places with babies (I hate Target!!!!), and the feeling that our weekends should be filled with other things... :(
I have been so depressed the past few days. I just can't seem to shake it. I haven't gone back to my therapist in a month or so, but I think I might make an appointment for next week. With the holidays coming up I have been having terrible anxiety thinking about spending time around our families. I just feel so pressured from all of them to 'be positive' or 'get over it'.
I think I am also feeling guilty that this month is a bust b/c I didn't ovulate, so it is totally my fault. Then my mind starts thinking that maybe if I wasn't so stressed out about this I would have ovulated. Vicious cycle of thoughts.
Ugh, good thing I am going to be so busy at work next week, I won't have any time to worry, or, not as much time to worry.
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8 comments:
IF is like an emotional rollercoaster. Ah, I completely understand how you feel. Best wishes for a busy week! :)
I completely agree about Tar.get. I always find myself either lingering around the maternity clothes or looking at the soft, fuzzy blankets.
I hope your week is good!
Aww I totally understand. I took my dogs to our new dog park this weekend and there were little kids, babies, and a very friendly pregnant woman there who wanted to chat. Great. It must be something about Target b/c mine is like that too. It's sad.
Don't feel too bad, it's "my fault" every month! :(
I am actually thinking of looking into therapy. I don't even know where to start with that though. How did you go about finding your person? Is that something insurance might cover?
I am sorry you feel so crappy, I hope you feel better soon.
It is totally your fault that you didn't ovulate. you should not be so stingy with your FSH and LH secretions. Next month maybe you can get it together and make sure you get your hormones in check....SERIOUSLY????
It is not your fault, silly. Did you take OCPs? Did you actively TRY to prevent ovulation? Come on, totally NOT your fault. :)
You don't have to get over anything. This is just as devistating as having a cancer diagnosis! You don't know what's happening next, you never know what the outcome will be of treatment, you just go for it and hope for the best...never to know if you can overcome your disease. I totally get it.
Take some Andrea time. Get a pedi, buy a trashy magazine or something (and for god's sake NOT at target!)...definitely schedule a therapy session....you need to NOT be in a bad place when the holiday season starts b/c it will be hard enough as it is....
**hugs**
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. IF truly does suck because it takes you on such an emotional roller coaster - fine one day, a wreck the next.
I know it's hard but you can't blame yourself. Not ovulating is completely out of your control. I try to keep things in perspective by thinking "It's just biology". I know... it's easier said than done but it helps me to keep things in perspective. I can't help not getting pregnant any more than I can help my heart rate or how often I take a breath. It's just biology.
Hang in there!!
It's not your fault you didn't ovulate!! It happens! I really hope your week goes better! Sorry about the coworker taking stupid pictures of you...they suck!! I'm rooting for you thru all of this crap!!!!!!!!
Yes, Target is not the place to go on a mopey IF weekend. Weird... I don't feel that way at Wal-Mart. huh?
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