A poll on thenest today got me thinking about baby names...not which ones we will choose (we have had those picked out for awhile), but how to deal with the names we liked, or would have used, getting used by our friends and family before we have kids.
We are fortunate that our top boy and girl names haven't been used yet, but there are a few that were on my short list that are now taken. DH's sisters were talking baby names for the baby on the way this weekend and I jokingly (or not so jokingly) asked if I could veto a name if it is the one we want to use. I got an odd look, and then a 'yes, I guess so. we wouldn't want to take them away.' I think they actually got it, so I am glad I said something.
When I hear a pg friend announce one of our names as what they are going to use I waiver as to whether I should say something. Do I have any right? Probably not. But if they know about our IF wouldn't they understand how we feel? Or should I just tell everyone our names so that they don't use them? :) The good old preemptive strike.
Don't get me wrong, its a free world, people can name their kids what they want, but to me it ends up being a reminder that things didn't happen for us the way we wanted. That not only do they get a baby, but our name, too:(
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Our journey through infertility, to pregnancy, with a few bumps along the way.
About Me
- Andrea
- Milwaukee, Wisconsin, United States
- After years of struggling with infertility we are finally parents to twins thanks to IVF#2! Learning through the difficult time of infertility, a multiples pregnancy, hospital bedrest, and a NICU stay that life is life, there is nothing you can do to control it. All you can do is try to make the best of it:)
Our Journey
- 10/05-Got married!
- 12/06-Began TTC
- 8/07-Diagnosed with Varicocele
- 10/07-Varicocelectomy
- 7/08-First RE appointment
- 9/, 10/, 12/08-IUI #1-3=BFNs
- 1/09 -IUI#4 =BFN
- 4/09 -IVF#1=BFN w/RE #2
- 6/22/09-IVF#2 =BFP!
- 1/15/10-Hazel and Elijah were born
Blog Archive
IF Success Stories
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- Caroline-From Infertility to Baby
- Conceive This!
- Infertility Journey to Motherhood
- IVF on the Down Low
- Little Bluebirds Fly
- Make it Grand
- My Infertile World
- No swimmers in the tubes, no bun in the oven
- Not How I Planned
- Pieces of My Life
- Someday, Someway!
- Swimming Against the Tide
- There's a baby at the end of this, right?
Multiples
Infertility Blogs
Loss
Non-IF blogs I like
Money Spent on IF
- 2008-
- 7/23/08 -$323 RE office visit
- 7/23/08 -$727 cervical cultures
- 8/11/08 -$948 day 3 bloodwork
- 8/11/08 -$536 day 3 ultrasound
- 8/20/08 -$285 for IUI #1
- 9/5/08 -$194 Semen analysis and cryopreservation
- 9/08-9/09 -$150 semen storage fee
- 9/11/08 -$194 semen analysis
- 10/6/08 -pending $3,500 for HSG
- 10/11/08 -$285 for IUI #2
- 12/1/08 -$285 for IUI #3
- 12/27/08 -$285 for IUI #4
- 2009-
- 1/24/09-$248 RE office visit
- 1/28/09 -$412 semen analysis and bloodwork
- 1/30/09 -$542 mock-ET and bloodwork
- 2/6/09 -$3,966 for IVF & ER anesthesia
- 2/10/09 -$1,819.05 for IVF Meds
- 3/25/09 -$1,290 freezing embryos
- 4/2/09 -$293 beta testing
- 6/1/09 -$3,996 for IVF #2
Acronyms
- AF = Aunt Flow (menstruation)
- Beta =Beta blood test, tests for pregnancy hormone
- BFN = Big Fat Negative (on HPT)
- BFP = Big Fat Positive (i.e. PREGNANT!)
- DH = Dear Husband. Even when he's not being particularly dear
- ER = Egg retrieval
- ET = Embryo transfer
- FET=Frozen Embryo Cycle
- HPT = Home Pregnancy Test
- ICSI = Intro Cytoplasmic Sperm Injection
- IF = Infertility
- IL = In-laws
- IUI = Intrauterine Insemination
- IVF = In Vitro Fertilization
- LO = Little Ones (babies)
- MFI = Male Factor Infertility
- MoM = Mother of Multiples
- O = Ovulate
- OPK = Ovulation Predictor Kit (tells when you O)
- Pg = pregnant, pregnancy
- PIO = Progesterone in Oil shots
- POAS = Pee on a Stick (take HPT)
- RE = Reproductive Endocrinologist
- SA = Semen Analysis
- SIL = Sister-in-Law
- Stims = Stimulation hormone shots
- TI = Timed Intercourse
- TTC = Trying to Conceive
- TTTC = Trouble Trying to Conceive
- WTF=What the fuck? -why didn't this work
7 comments:
I know exactly what you are talking about!! Our son William Joseph was named after both of my grandfathers. He passed about four years ago, and it was an extremely difficult time for us. Well my cousin (who I thought I was close to) who we see A LOT, we are or were a very close family had a son two years ago this coming Jan. Well she named him William, but I think the worst part was that she knew what she was going to name him and kept telling me that they hadn't decided (I think because she knew how upsetting it would be for me and didn't want to tell me face to face!)unfortunately on Christmas morning I over heard her mother telling someone the name. It hurt me so bad and still to this day it is hard for me whenever I hear them call/ refer to their son William. Names are very personal and when you have struggled with infertility and you have names picked out that is hope for you! I completely get it- best wishes and God Bless!
ugh, i know how you feel. my sister tried to steal a few of my names, but i was not having that. you have every right to ask others to not use the names you dream about..
the only thing with this is that i can see one of the bozos who does not get IF saying, "well....it's not like you are actually going to *use* them..." arg.
we don't talk about names with anyone anymore. i just kinda take mental notes when people talk about them. this past weekend one of my best friends was talking about how one of the boy names we liked (she doesn't know) really sounds more like a name that was made for a dog.... hmmmm....
I don't tell anyone my baby names either. I just silently cross them off my list. I think it forces us to be more creative. :)
However, my absolute favorite hasn't been used yet. I will probably cry if someone picks that one.
Here's a story for you... My aunt told her friend when she was pregnant what she wanted to name her baby. My aunt miscarried and her friend (who was also pregnant) named her baby the name my aunt had picked out. My aunt never had a baby. Of all the terrible, mean things to do to a friend! Unforgivable.
I have thought about this too and I decided I just don't care. I'm not going to not use a name I love because someone I know used it. Think of how many people we know with our names? Who cares - use the names you love the most, no matter what :)
I'm with you... I have to bite my lip when talking with someone about baby names... I don't even want to mention the names I like in case they hear them and think "That's the ONE," and I'll have to hear them use it everyday.
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